I hear you in my head. . . .be quiet.

ATTENTION! I'M MOVING!

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 12:41:09 GMT

*****NEW LIVEJOURNAL*****

http://www.livejournal.com/~sprookjeslaaf

I will no longer write here. end.

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 08:38:01 GMT

I'm an ugly whore.
piece of shit.

Toy Attica zombie-nurses

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 01:46:36 GMT

http://www.myspace.com/toyattica

http://www.myspace.com/toyattica

PLAYING ACCORDION - DAY 3

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 23:57:04 GMT

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v344/itchyitchy/?action=view¤t=67c44925.pbr

the link to the video.....
day 3 of playing accordion (teaching myself)

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 03:30:26 GMT

"Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you.
I'd been broken beyond repair."

Toy Attica

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:49:26 GMT

Cyanide

Band practice at the studio 8/29/08

for more videos:
http://www.myspace.com/toyattica
http://www.youtube.com/user/toyattica

A few questions for girls with alt. style

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 03:34:57 GMT

Obviously, we all dress the way we do because that's how we want to look, but there are a few things that I've been curious about and wanted to know what other girls thought or have experienced.

-Is the attention you get more negative or positive?

-How do you deal with negative attention?

-How do mainstream beauty ideals affect you?

-Let me know your negative/positive experiences (compliments, harassment, affected self-esteem, etc.) surrounding your alternative style.

Thanks,
-Astro

P.S.

cosma shiva!

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 08:00:57 GMT

Cigarette brand of choice:

Where do you like to get coffee from:

Season you can't wait to start:

Your favorite thing to wear:

A great place to be:

Type of food you'd want to get on a date:

Some place you can not wait to go:

Something you've always wanted:(i have it now, well the pee-wee ventriloquist dummy!)

What do you currently hear or are watching:

Your favorite sport:

Something you tried and liked:

Type of shoes you usually wear:

Something you have a lot of:

A celeb you found really hot:

A mistake you made involving the member of the opposite sex:

The last book you read and finished:

One of your main beliefs:

Something you find cute:

A tattoo you wouldn't mind getting:

Last thing you did a shot of:

What do you like to do shots of:

Something you drink often:

Energy drink you like:

Something you want right this second:

shadow person

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 11:24:56 GMT

GO AWAY

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 11:10:37 GMT

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 20:57:49 GMT

Dear Diary,
In the past two days, I have watched:
Rocky Horror Picture Show, Serial Mom, Faces of Death, Female Trouble, Polyester, Pecker, and Wayne's World.
We got a bum to buy our drinks.
I have bruises on my legs from crawling in and out of my window, to smoke cigarettes.
Today is the first day of school.
Unfortunately, I still have not gotten my classes, because I am not first priority.

He told me, "I'm glad you called me."
I said, "Why...*baby voice* Because I'm Your Friend!"

I'm annoying.

I know I haven't posted any photos in here in a while.

Belly dance.

Toy Attica show 8.16.08
We stayed up all night making our dresses....

Baby Brandon Mccarthy, with a scratch n sniff sticker on his crotch.

Current hair color.

FOR MORE TOY ATTICA SHOW PICTURES:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/monkey_bucket/sets/72157606821574002/

ASTRODOLLY SHOPPE

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:37:52 GMT

i*m so dumb! I posted the wrong link for my little shop!

here it is again!

http://www.myspace.com/astrodollyfashion

I really should be using etsy for this....
i'm getting custom orders that i won't be able to do until next wednesday (that's when i go shopping for more material....)

"red dress"

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 10:26:11 GMT

new art thing "red dress" by me :]

my pink/blonde candycanes

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 05:50:29 GMT

i think i have 26(?) double-ended dreads. . .
so that means i have
8 blonde
10 pink
8 pink/blonde candycanes

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 21:58:29 GMT

everything is just getting to me.
i just keep having to tell myself to be strong
but i don't know how much longer this can last.
i feel so helpless, there are things that i want so badly to do,
but for the better of me i am trying not to.
i don't want to cry, so i don't.
first sign of weakness.
i hold it all in, and i'm just about ready to break.
how much longer, how much longer..
things will get better, i just keep telling myself that.
in the meantime, things are not looking too good for me,
you probably don't see it, but that's because it's all inside.
i don't know what to do with myself at times like this.
like i said, helpless, hopeless.
how about i just crawl back into bed and forget about it?
i can't even feel comfortable in my own bed.

new studio pix

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 04:24:23 GMT

cideshow built new rooms, so far only tony's band and like 2 other bands have rooms, the rest of the place is EMPTY. i guess we will be sharing our room with 3dc. . . i think. well most likely. annette just wants to talk to us first. we practiced there like 2 weeks ago and bb just sent me some pix

~~I*M NOT GONNA PUT THEM BEHIND A CUT BECAUSE I LIKE THEM SO MUCH.~~

art share magazine

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 00:23:35 GMT

pg 12-13 two of my photographs

http://www.flickr.com/photos/21390227@N02/sets/72157603336010808/show/

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 10:46:02 GMT

Which Alice in Wonderland character are YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Mad Hatter

You scored the Mad Hatter! You are a jovial person who enjoys parties and celebrating un-birthdays, but you are not a very good host as your guests are confused by your riddles and nonsense talk.

Mad Hatter

83%

Alice

83%

March Hare

75%

Caterpillar

67%

Oyster

58%

Walrus

50%

The Dormouse

42%

A Playing Card

42%

Cheshire Cat

42%

Carpenter

33%

The White Rabbit

33%

Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum

25%

Flamingo

25%

Queen of Hearts

17%

Sonnet 71

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 08:12:58 GMT

Sonnet 71
No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Then you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world, with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it; for I love you so
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O, if, I say, you look upon this verse
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse.
But let your love even with my life decay,
Lest the wise world should look into your moan
And mock you with me after I am gone.

oK thIs will bE the LaSt of mY ShriNes beFore 2008! ! ! !

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 03:41:19 GMT

* * * Check them ouT! * * * i UploAded pix of 4 of the shrines i created ! ! Comment them please<3 thank you & Have a hAPPY NEW YEAR eVERYONE! ! ! be SAFE ! but PLEASE remember that if you are gonna drink up tonight to designate a driver ! !

This one is of my friend Jhovani who i Love & Miss Dearly. . . . I used newspaper clippings for the background, and for the card in the front i used a quote of mine in the newspaper, i guess that just makes it more personal. . .there appears to be clouds in the background and on the side it says "may heaven have a new angel." i put little glittery angels on the sides of it and along the top. . i couldn*t get myself to take a good photo of the BACK of it, so you can*t see the detail, but NO in reality it does not look like red paint splatters, it is actually TEXTURED! There on the BACK i included the opposite side of the "guadalupe" card, which says: "En Memoria de Jhovani Reyes De La Cruz - March 7, 1989 - December 16, 2004. Siempre te amaremos, Nuestro pequendo. Siempre recordaremos tu Luz, tu alegria. Tentastes a todos en un modo muy especial,Ahora en el patio de Dios correras y jugaras. Protegido en los brazos de Dios, El re detiene tan apretado; Tu vives en su amor, Ensu corazon, en su Luz. Con todo nuestros corazones, Y con todo nuestro amor - Mama y Familia"

Now this one is supposed to resemble a "psychic reader" place. . . inside there appears to be a small table with a lace cloth and 2 black candles, a blue marble, stars, a red rose, and a crystal ball on top. The "window" is covered in a sheer black "curtain." There also hangs a zodiac wheel above the window. The floor is painted red "wood" and there is a crescent moon on top. Not pictured here, but on the right "wall" there is a "palmistry" hand and a note that lists "The seven principle lines," there is also a tarot card of "the high priestess." On the wall that sticks out there is an alchemical zodiac wheel, 2 palmistry hands, the sun, "the devil" tarot card, a ouija board, some stars & crescent moons, and a banner that says "answers to all of your questions!" Now THE BACK there are a few gold roses, burned incense sticks, more stars & crescent moons, little signs that say "Pyshic readings, palmistry, tarot" * "Tarot Readings - The cards tell all!" and "What's in store for your future?"

Above the window reads "PSYCHIC READER" and below reads "Madame Astro See's All! Past, Present, Future!" Inside the window you can see "the magician" tarot card. On top of the shrine reads "Gaze into my crystal ball, What do you see?"

This is a shrine for the Goddess Kali. . . .it is a small one about 3.5 inches high, inside there are a few lavender roses and a cutout of the popular photo of Kali and Lord Shiva. . . it reads "Just as all colors disappear in black so all names and forms disappear in her." On the BACK there is just red design and gold ribbon. There is another photo of Kali outlined with hemp twine. The outer-edges are also outlined with hemp twine.

This is a smoking shrine. . . There are photos of people smoking on the front saying things like "My first real cigarette pleasure came with CAMELS" * "Fuck Off! I'm Smoking." and "Put a smile in our smoking!" There are cigarettes along the inside, some with red lipstick-stains on the filters and some beads that read "GLAMOUR." On the BACK there are more photos of people smoking. The photos say "Smoking is believing!" * "Smoke too much? Here's how to smoke all you want" * "Let's face it, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow - Have a fag!" * "Joan Crawford says" "I've made those mildness tests you've read about - my choice is Camels" * "The filter doesn't get between you and the flavor!" On the top there is a Match, 2 cigarette butts, and a thing that reads "During the summer season of extra smoking - begin enjoying the cigarette of extra smokes! Everyone can afford the coolness, the true mildness, the ripe, delicate taste and fragrance of smoking pleasure at its best. More smoking for your money."

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 03:39:40 GMT

dear god i had so much fucking food today. i know this must get annoying coming from me all the time, but i can*t help the feeling i get afterwards, that sick thing inside of me, i was in a dream and i woke up, came to my senses, blacked out next thing you know i am here in this place at this point. i just wish i could be free from all of this. i wonder what life would be like if my brain weren*t turned upside down. when this happens it*s as though time just stops but goes on forever, like i get trapped in it but when i*m happy time keeps ticking and it seems that so much time has passed that i forget all about being sad, even if it was only a few minutes ago. it never lasts though, so i*m just always forgetting, and i*ve realize a lot of my time really is just wasted on worry and depression. i*m not sure if it means anything, or if it matters, because now it just doesn*t feel like it happened, just a short period of time to look back on even though in reality it really is Forever.

all is full of love

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 01:42:51 GMT

you'll be given love
you'll be taken care of
you'll be given love
you have to trust it

maybe not from the sources
you have poured yours
maybe not from the directions
you are staring at

trust your head around
it's all around you
all is full of love
all around you

all is full of love
you just aint receiving
all is full of love
your phone is off the hook
all is full of love
your doors are all shut
all is full of love

my secret by anonymous

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 04:47:39 GMT

tell a secret. it can be about anything. the things you have done, secret fantasies, secret wishes, what you think of me, what you think of yourself, anything. just enter as Anonymous.

eating disorder / self-injury youtube video

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 09:42:57 GMT

i made a youtube video using various clips from different movies/television/music videos. the backing track is "razorblade sky" by queen adreena.

CD1334 @ Knitting factory. photo by redseth

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 10:29:13 GMT

a photo of bb and i at the christian death1334 show. . . .

right now i am a bit confused and unsure about where to take things.
sometimes i wish i could just make myself at home in someone elses mind.
I thought love was more or less a given thing,
Seems the more I gave the less I got.
Whats the use in tryin?
All you get is pain.
When I needed sunshine I got rain.